I definitely knew how much of adulthood would be paperwork and waiting, because people always have complained about that. But I think this is the first time im actually experiencing it.
I’ve never dealt with lawyers before this year. Never needed to learn words like “mediation” “foreclosure” “custody petition” or “temporary order.” Now I hear them every week, and they don’t even sound like real life anymore just noise I have to translate and try to survive through.
I always thought the court process was simple. You explain what’s happening. A judge makes a decision. Life moves on.
That’s not what it’s like at all.
It’s slow. It’s confusing. And it’s full of moments where I think, “Wait, is this the part where we finally settle this?” But it never is. It’s one more phone call. One more reschedule. One more thing I need to prove.
I’m not trying to fight anyone. I just want it decided. I want to know what’s happening with custody. I want the house stuff figured out. I want to know what my life is going to look like so I can finally start building it.
I’m so tired of feeling like I’m in limbo, asking permission to make plans for my own future.
If you’re going through this too the legal maze, the emotional rollercoaster I just want to say: I see you. You’re not alone. It’s okay to be overwhelmed. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to just want someone to tell you what happens next.
But while I wait for answers, I’m still showing up. Still parenting. Still job hunting. Still dreaming about a little apartment with a door I can lock and a life that is mine again.
And when the decisions finally come I’ll be ready.
