There are a lot of things I’ve told people. And then felt weird about after. Like I’ll say something real, something heavy, because it’s sitting in my chest and I don’t know where else to put it. And in the moment, it feels like relief. Like I’m being honest. Like maybe I’m letting someone in.… Continue reading Things I Haven’t Said Out Loud
Summer Yay
Summer started, and for once, I’m not scrambling to make it feel like some kind of picture perfect memory. The kids are home. Swim lessons are happening. Our schedule is messy. There’s something about having them both here that feels like a reset. A little louder, a little harder, but also softer in a weird… Continue reading Summer Yay
Starting Over in My Mid 30s (No Car, No Job, and Too Many Feelings)
I’m in my mid 30s and starting over. Not in a fresh start, clean slate kind of way. I left my marriage. I’m walking away from a house I can’t afford. I’m moving into transitional housing with my kids, no car, no job, no savings, and no clear plan. This isn’t a glow up. It’s… Continue reading Starting Over in My Mid 30s (No Car, No Job, and Too Many Feelings)
Mediation 1.0
I had my first mediation appointment. We drove there together. Same car. Because I don’t have access to my own right now. Then we sat in separate rooms while the mediator went back and forth between us. It was quiet and structured. And even though nothing was finalized, it helped. Nothing was signed. There’s no… Continue reading Mediation 1.0
What to Keep When You Want to Keep Nothing
I keep swinging between wanting to hold onto everything and wanting to get rid of it all. Every toy, every old sweater, every paper drawing with a name half spelled right makes me feel a mix of guilt, love, and overwhelm. I don’t want to carry clutter into a new chapter. But I also don’t… Continue reading What to Keep When You Want to Keep Nothing
All These Big Ideas I Never Finished
I’m always coming up with something. A new job I think I’d love. A business idea that shows up in my head fully formed. A website I start building at 1am with no plan except “maybe this could be something.” For a minute, I’m all in. I feel like this time, it’s really going to… Continue reading All These Big Ideas I Never Finished
I Just Want It Decided
I definitely knew how much of adulthood would be paperwork and waiting, because people always have complained about that. But I think this is the first time im actually experiencing it. I’ve never dealt with lawyers before this year. Never needed to learn words like “mediation” “foreclosure” “custody petition” or “temporary order.” Now I hear… Continue reading I Just Want It Decided
Figuring It Out
Hi. I don’t totally know what I’m doing but here you are, so I guess we’re both here now. This blog is something I started because I needed somewhere to put all the thoughts I don’t say out loud. Midnight Version 2.0 is what I’m calling this next part of my life. The name came… Continue reading Figuring It Out